Regrets
by EternallyEC
Summary: The phone call was a classic cliché version of the three AM call, only it came at five-fifteen in the evening. The sun was still shining and it was a beautiful day outside. Post 1x18; Chuck gets bad news about Blair... ANGST.Possibly a two-part.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing; all things _Gossip Girl _are property of Cecily von Ziegesar, the CW and the god is that Josh Schwartz.

**Summary: **_The phone call was a classic cliché version of the three AM call, only it came at five-fifteen in the evening. The sun was still shining and it was a beautiful day outside. Chuck Bass felt like he was in trapped in a bad dream with no as he listened to what the voice on the phone was telling him through a fog of disbelief._

_I'm sorry Charles, there's been an accident—"_

**Author: **Manda (EternallyEC)

**Characters: **Chuck Bass, Blair Waldorf, Serena van der Woodson

**Timeline: **Post-1x18 "_Much 'I Do' About Nothing_"

**Author's Note: **Okay, I confess that I partially stole this idea from a few fanfics I read recently, but I put my own twist on things. This may wind up being a two shot because I wrote a lot more than what is in this one shot, but I wound up not really liking it for this story. I usually have the normal, obvious endings, so to have a more ambiguous ending for once is kind of nice.(Not to mention that I feel like I went way out of character with the rest of what I wrote).

Please, review and let me know what you think! Also let me know if you should think I continue to work on the rest of what I have—I'd hate to waste the time and effort if nobody wants to read it.

**Title: **Regrets

The phone call was a classic cliché version of the three AM call, only it came at five-fifteen in the evening. The sun was still shining and it was a beautiful day outside. Chuck Bass felt like he was in trapped in a bad dream with no as he listened to what the voice on the phone was telling him through a fog of disbelief.

I'm sorry Charles, there's been an accident—"

"And why does this concern me?" Chuck asked, fear settling deep into the pit of his stomach.

"Your father said that your friend may have been involved." There was a shuffling of papers, as if the man was trying to find the name. "A Blair Waldorf? Was she on the plane?"

She had been terrified of flying. She'd confessed to him only a few days ago when he had first extended the invitation to go to Europe with him.

_"Blair Waldorf, afraid of getting in an airplane?" he teased lightly. "I'd like to see the plane that could take you on." _

_She flushed pink with embarrassment and he pulled her closer, kissing her softly. "How would you like to sit in the jump seat? You could keep an eye on the pilot and let him know if you have any thoughts about his flying." _

"_I would feel a lot better," she admitted with a giggle that he relished. She'd never giggled like that until this past week, and he loved that he was the one who caused it. _

"Are there any survivors?" he asked in a voice tight with unshed tears, his heart clenching in his chest as he waited for an answer.

The voice on the other end of the phone hesitated, appearing to finally realize that something truly bad had happened. "They're still trying to get to the wreckage," he said, carefully choosing his words. "But… they're not expecting anyone to survive."

Chuck closed his eyes tightly and barely managed to choke out, "Call me the instant you find out anything." He hung up the phone and slowly slid down to the floor, lost in a state of numb disbelief. He stared without comprehension at the phone still in his hands, and without really knowing what he was doing he was going to his text message inbox, until he was staring at the message that he knew would torture him for the rest of his life.

_Can't wait to see U xo B_

And suddenly he was sobbing like he would never stop.

Eventually he fell into an uneasy sleep, and the phone was what awoke him a few hours later. Chuck saw the familiar name on the Caller ID and a rush of fear overcame him as he answered it. "What do you know?"

"Miss Waldorf is alive," he said, "but only just. She's in critical condition—she's in a coma and the doctors aren't sure if she'll ever wake up. But she is alive."

"Where is she?" Chuck asked, feeling the knot in his stomach loosen just a little bit.

"I'm sorry, but only Miss Waldorf's immediate family is allowed in the room," the nurse told him softly but firmly. She could see the pain in the young man's eyes and deep down she was hoping that if anything ever happened to her there would be someone to look like that for her.

"I understand, but I just need to tell her something."

"Like what?"

Chuck's voice softened and his eyes glazed over, seeming to go somewhere else as he replied, "I need to tell her that I should have been on that plane with her… and that I'm sorry."

Suddenly he returned to reality and pinning the nurse with his dark eyes he added, "I need to tell her that I love her."

"Well… Talking to coma patients has been shown to help bring them out of it faster." Glancing around to make sure no one was around she led him to Blair's room. "Please hurry."

"Thank you," Chuck said as he pushed into her room. The wonder he felt at thanking someone and actually meaning it for the first time was quickly replaced with fear when he saw Blair lying in the hospital bed, wires and tubes coming out of her and connecting her to several different machines

Her ivory skin was paler than ever, especially against the cool crisp whiteness of the hospital sheets. She had a cut on her forehead that had been stitched up and one side of her head had been shaved and was now sporting a thick pad of gauze that was slowly being soaked through with blood.

Slowly sitting down in the chair beside the bed, Chuck took Blair's cool hand into his own and gently brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. Holding it to his forehead, he finally allowed his tears to come once again, but he stopped them after a moment so that he could say what he needed to say.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, his voice raspy from the tears he had shed over the last several hours. "I should have been on that plane with you… I should never have let you go without me." He swallowed, summoning his courage to say what he had never told another human being before. "Blair, I love you and I need you. You can't leave me."

He didn't know how long he sat there before he finally stood reluctantly and pressed a kiss to her forehead tenderly. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. "Come back to me."

Turning around, he missed the way that her eyelids fluttered and her lips curved into a smile, as though she was having a wonderful dream.

Chuck turned his cell phone back on in the limo and was not surprised to see that he had five missed calls, all from Serena. He imagined that she was none too pleased that her best friend was in the hospital because of him, and that he was not. Steeling himself, he called her back.

"Chuck, it's about time you called me back!" Serena's voice was tearful and strangely not accusatory as she asked, "Have you heard about Blair?"

"I just left from seeing her," he confessed.

"How did you get in? The nurse said it was immediate family only when I tried."

Chuck hesitated and responded truthfully. "I told her that I had something I needed to say."

"And just what did you have to say Chuck?"

"I apologized," he said softly. "I'm sure you know that I wasn't on that plane?"

"Well, yeah."

"I knew that she was terrified of flying… but I was terrified of going with her. So I ignored her text message and I let her get on that plane alone."

"Chuck—"

"I should have been on that plane with her," he softly insisted, ignoring her. "I told her that, and—I told her that I love her."

The line was silent and then Serena said, "Wow." It summed it up—Chuck Bass actually admitting that he loved someone other than himself was a big deal, and she knew it perhaps better than anyone. After all, she had once been him—or a feminine version, anyway.

"I'm proud of you, Chuck," she told him after a moment. "And you have to know that this isn't your fault—that plane would've crashed even if you had been on it, and the odds are that you couldn't have done much to protect her."

"But I could have been there for her... with her," he whispered, and she couldn't argue with that.

~~FIN


End file.
